One of the most valuable tools available to
the modern magician is conscious evolution of the self. Through
our magic, as well as auxiliary studies in psychology and other
disciplines, we learn through practice to map out our psyches and to
more fully “Know Thyself”. The more we know, too, the more power
we have to consciously change what is there to better suit who we
really want to be. We find that we are not merely slaves to our
biology or our conditioning, but instead are in control of our own
destinies, as it were. The practice of magic allows us to explore
this newfound power, a power that is more impressive than being able to
make a candle light itself, or manifest a spirit into this reality for
a short period of time.
However, conscious evolution doesn’t just involve knowing your traits
and being able to point at yourself and say “Hey, this is me!” It
also deals with the individual decisions that we make from moment to
moment. You cannot truly be aware of yourself if you are only
aware of your components; you must also be mindful of your sphere of
influence and how you interact with and affect the world around
you. “Know thyself” is macrocosmic as well as microcosmic.
Too often we re-act instead of consciously acting. Let’s look at
the meaning of the verb “to react”. We have an action as the
root, which is what we’re primarily concerned with creating.
However, there’s that pesky prefix, “re-”. It usually gets
overlooked because people tend to think of “react” as one word, when in
actuality it is two all squashed together. I’m normally not a
huge fan of hyphenating words [1], but in this case re-act says a lot
to me in its individual pieces.
When we re-act, we are acting in a manner that we have used
before. While it isn’t necessarily the best way to act given a
certain type of stimulus, it’s one that worked at least somewhat
satisfactorily before, enough that it at least imprinted in our
behavior to become the dominant action when similar situations
arose. Generally speaking, though, a re-action is done without
thought—how many times have you heard someone say (or said yourself)
“Oh, sorry, I wasn’t thinking—I just reacted!” Sometimes it’s not
a huge deal, for example, startling someone by accident and having them
jump and yelp as a re-action. However, too often we let our
emotional re-actions dictate how we deal with the Multiverse and all
its components. I lost track a long time ago of all the times
when I got into fights and arguments with other people both in person
and online because I re-acted, allowing my passion for a certain
subject, and my ingrained opinions about these things, dictate my
response.
Flame wars and drama, unfortunately, are the bane of the internet and
the latter often spills over into real life as well. Almost all
of it is fueled by people re-acting in a certain way because they’re
conditioned to do so. You have the person who may deliberately
start the fight, either because their re-action, when confronted with
something they don’t agree with, is to ridicule it. Then you have
numerous people on all sides of the debate that ensues who re-act to
the initial insult and dogpile onto the original poster.
This, of course, isn’t limited to the internet. I often have
spoken without thinking, and hurt people’s feelings without really
intending to because of what I said and/or how I said it. Rarely
have I ever intentionally tried to hurt people’s feelings, but
sometimes my opinions are harsh enough that they can be abrasive to
others, and it’s only after the fact that I realize this.
Even in our romantic and other relationships, re-acting can cause more
trouble than it’s worth. One thing I am very grateful for when it
comes to my husband, Taylor, is the fact that we’ve learned to
communicate quite well. However, on more than one occasion we’ve
caught ourselves in the process of trading re-actions, which just
escalate the situation. Once we’ve realized what’s going on,
we’re able to take a step back and start actually communicating based
on the present situation, rather than relying on pre-programmed
re-actions.
Deprogramming your re-actions can be a little (or a lot!) like the
process of saving yourself if you happen to be on fire. Remember
when you were a kid and the fireman came to your class and told you how
to put out a fire on your clothing/hair/body/etc.? There were
those three magic words—stop, drop and roll—and they apply here as well.
STOP: The first thing you have to do is to cease the pattern of
behavior that causes you to re-act. This means that you need to
pay attention to your thoughts and actions from moment to moment.
We’re not really conditioned to do that; most people tend to go through
life on autopilot because it’s easier that way. But once we
realize what we’re doing we can actively choose to not take that
course, and instead go with a better one.
DROP: Next, drop the re-action. If you just pick it up
again (ie, let the flames keep burning), you’re not going to get much
of anywhere. One thing I’ve started doing is delaying posting
responses to harsh emails, or forums, and so forth. I may allow
myself to write out what’s on my mind right that moment, but at the
end, after I’ve read it over a couple of times, I ask myself, “Is this
really worth sending? Will it accomplish anything other than
stirring up even more trouble?” The same thing goes for real-time
interactions. If I’m seriously angry with Taylor, I often go and
take a walk to cool down. I might rant to myself as I’m walking about
how pissed I am, and what a wanker he is, and how I can’t believe I
married this guy, and all that. But once I’ve gotten the
irrational, exaggerated emotional re-actions out of my system, I turn
around and on my way back home I start thinking about what I actually
want to say.
ROLL: Finally, come up with a new action instead of the
re-action. In our “Oh my god I’m on fire!!!” example, it means
that instead of doing what your first impulse to do is and run like
hell, roll on the ground until the flames are put out. Sometimes
the best action is no action at all. There are numerous times
that I’ve found that just ignoring a flame war makes it die out more
quickly, or that telling someone what I really think of them probably
wouldn’t amount to anything more than even more drama. Other
times, its best to really think out what I want to say or do, rather
than going with the first thing that comes to mind. After all,
once something is done or said, you can’t take it back.
And that’s where we get into conscious actions. It’s
important to weigh all the potential consequences and
possibilities. Sometimes a little more research is called for,
which can involve anything from a trip to the library to talking to
people on the Other Side of the Debate to try and get the whole
story. Next, you have to try to divine what the result of a
certain action may be, and whether it’s really worth it. Don’t
let your emotions overrule you here—you may be pissed off at so-and-so,
but what good will it do to come in swinging? It may be much more
productive to compose a calm, thoughtful response that makes your point
while still being respectful. Even if the other person still
blows up, at least you had better control of yourself.
“Stop” is probably the toughest step; once you’ve stopped it’s a lot
easier to drop the re-action and roll out a new, conscious
action. There are a number of ways you can help aid this
stopping. My friend Nick Graham suggested putting a rubber band
around your wrist and snapping yourself every time you perpetuate a bad
habit. This serves to help create a connection between the habit
and that small bit of pain, just enough to make you think twice the
next time.
However, you can also use more magical methods. Try creating a
servitor that (figuratively) taps your shoulder when you start to
replicate a certain re-action. Try designing it to be terrifying
to scare you out of your habit. Or, if you prefer working with
pre-created entities, think of those that are associated with
watchfulness. Since I work with totem animals quite a bit, I
might call on a raptor, such as Hawk or Eagle, to help keep sharp eyes
on me.
Or you might evoke a construct that symbolizes that particular pattern
of behavior and then ritualistically destroy it. Think of all the
excuses you have to continuing to re-act—“But I’ve always done it this
way!” “But this is just the way I am!” “But s/he started
it!” Make them into one huge supersigil that represents the
entity within you that perpetuates those excuses. Evoke the
entity using the supersigil, and then slaughter it. If you find
remnants of it sneaking back, visualize the moment of destruction all
over again, and banish as necessary.
And retroactive magic can be used to recircuit yourself. Think of
the the first time, or the earliest time you can remember, when you
created that negative action leading to subsequent re-actions.
Come up with what would have been a better choice for that particular
situation. Then, in ritual, relive that moment and change the
ending. Do this for a number of individual situations related to
the same re-action, each one with its unique conscious action, to help
break the hold of the re-action on you.
The trick is finding a way to psychologically flip your own triggers
for the better—in this case, having control of the on/off switch for a
re-action. It’s frighteningly easy to fall into the same old
patterns over and over again, and not even realize it. However,
with enough effort you can break your re-actions and replace them with
individual conscious actions tailored for each situation as it presents
itself.
[1] For a particularly amusing look at the overhyphenation,
particularly within the New Age community, check out John Sacelli’s
article “The Alpha Bet – a Humourous Parable (Hue More Us Pair-Able)”
in his Shaman’s Lynx column, Moon Shadows magazine, issue #31.
Lupa is a twenty-something pagan and
experimental magician in Seattle with her husband, fellow author and
partner in strange deeds, Taylor Ellwood. They share their home
with a cat, a lizard, and too many books and art supplies. Lupa
is the author of “Fang and Fur, Blood and Bone: A Primal Guide to
Animal Magic” as well as several forthcoming titles; you may find out
more about her and Taylor at http://www.thegreenwolf.com.
