LETTER TO A STUDENT ON THE DAY OF ENROLLMENT IN THE ACADEMY
by Jason Louv
Dear Student,
We commend you for your decision to enroll in our de-educational
program at our Academy. We recognize that you have a choice when
seeking alternative education, and are sure we will live up to your
expectations.
Choosing to remove yourself from the normal course of human life is no
small matter. Though we celebrate your clear passion to learn, your
acumen in finding our school and your exemplary performance on your
entrance exams, we remind you that the illusory nature of the world is
maintained wholly by, and for, the best interests of those who dwell in
it, yourself included. Upon graduation from the Academy, you will be
required to return to, and make your own way in, the world. With degree
in hand, however, we are confident that you will more easily find your
way to a successful life and will be able to compete with the best in
today’s marketplace.
Your classes will begin on Monday. Please find enclosed a short
prospectus of the work you will be expected to complete in preparation
for obtaining a degree. While other institutions you may have
been involved with during the time you have so far elapsed on this
planet—schools, family, peer groups, government, religions, media—have
been established in order to educate you, at the Academy we are
concerned with your de-education and the reversal of that which you
have learned and experienced up to this point. We are licensed (by the
highest authorities) to use a wide array of the most modern and
scientifically advanced methods currently extant in order to achieve
this.
(Please also find attached a waiver form clearing us of any legal
responsibility for your physical, emotional or karmic welfare during
your time at our school. You will be required to sign
and bring this form with you on your first day of class.)
During their de-education and de-testing, students will be required to
pursue proficiency in identifying, and demonstrating the illusory
nature of, thirty-six principles or veils which separate them from the
infinite.
Initial study and experimentation will be conducted upon the
constitution of matter and the physical world. In your worldly,
exoteric education you will have hopefully gained at least a passing
knowledge of physics and be aware of the superstring or M-theory that
the universe is composed, at base, of vibrations of tiny,
supersymmetric strings. However, at our Academy you will be introduced
to the five esoteric principles—earth, water, air, fire and space—which
exist behind the vibration of matter and from which all matter is
constituted and patterned. Through practical, hands-on classroom
experimentation with the manipulation of these principles via
meditation and ritual, students will soon be able to demonstrate the
illusory and arbitrarily malleable nature of matter to their, and their
instructors', full satisfaction.
The next stage of the work will be conducted within the student's
perceptual and mental faculties themselves, in which the false
identification with a further eighteen veils of illusion dwelling
therein will be removed from each student. The first five—smelling,
tasting, seeing, touching and hearing—constitute each student's
perceptions, and instructors are well-trained to practically
demonstrate the extreme limitations of the senses in relaying any
legitimate data whatsoever. Directly thereafter, the five subtle
elements of smell, taste, sight, texture and sound themselves will be
demonstrated as illusions, in and of themselves. Once the false
identification with perceptions and perceivables is removed, so will
each student's false identification with their actions. Here the
student's powers of speech, grasping, moving, speaking and procreation
will be shown to have no agency or origination whatsoever in anything
approximating the student's true self and to be, at this stage, a
distraction from that true self.
We warn in advance that during this stage the student will likely
experience extreme disorientation and agitation as the faculties of
perception and action they previously identified as belonging to them
and constituting them as individuals are disproved as being anything
but a flickering picture show projected on the movie screen of the
mind. We remind you, however, that we are certified professionals and
you need have no fear, for we will quickly proceed to assist you in the
reversal of the next underlying principles. These are the mind's
constructed image of the “world,” the mind's constructed image of the
“self,” and the entire illusory proceedings of the vast drama your mind
constructs for you from your unreal perceptions of unreal things.
Having completed the lessons of the external departments and gone
completely inward, the student will soon see that the “world” is an
interplay between the false belief that anything exists separately from
the self and the false belief that the self exists as separate from
anything. Lessons will immediately commence on identifying, and
decommissioning, the function of consciousness which maintains the
sense of a limited, rather than an infinite and immortal, self.
Before considering removing this function of consciousness, students
are asked to take note that it is maintained for the exact same reason
that moviegoers pretend not to know if the hero will or will not defuse
the bomb and get the girl in the end, even if everybody knows deep down
that that's what happens every time.
There are five forces of limitation which maintain the illusion of the
“self.” These are the illusions of limited ability, limited
understanding, limited willpower, the illusion of linear time and the
illusion of singular locality.
Beyond this veil of limitation dwell the three functions of
divinity—the power to create, the awareness of creation and the will to
create itself—and divinity itself, that is, the interplay of unlimited
consciousness and unlimited creation, both of which themselves emanate
from the Absolute.
We refer to this as the Principal's Office, and it is here that we will
completely turn off the mind itself.
Having gained a better and more comprehensive grasp of the workings of
the universe, students are of course free—even encouraged—to
reconstitute the thirty-six veils of illusion we will have at this
point trained them to identify and remove, and return to their worldly
vocation along with the gift of identification with true reality.
Particularly motivated students, of course, will be pleased to know
that completion of our program will open wholly new higher education
opportunities and career options previously unavailable or even
previously hidden to them. Our careers department will be more than
pleased to assist you in finding a new track should you choose.
Please make sure you've enjoyed a good night's rest before reporting to
your first class on Monday. Should you be successful in your studies,
and with a bit of luck, it may be the last sleep you ever get.
Fiat Lux,
_______ __________, Ph. D.
Vice Chancellor, Admissions
