Is it really energy?
When one
word becomes an umbrella term for a variety of experiences by
Taylor Ellwood
The word energy
is ambiguous, used as a cover word to describe a set of experiences and
sensations, which may not actually be energetic at all. It's a
convenient word used to conceptualize those experiences, but at the
same time it's a fuzzy word because the experiences that fall under the
word energy may not have anything to do with energy. Part of where this
ambiguity comes from is associating the word energy with Chi. There's
no direct translation of Chi into English and so energy has been used
as the word that roughly describes what Chi may or may not be (Bonewits
2007, Yang 2003).
Recently as I was
doing a breathing exercise to help me work through what would be termed
an "Energetic Blockage" I realized that the term wasn't accurate to
what I was experiencing. There was a gap between the concept of the
energetic blockage and the reality of the experience I was actively
involved in. I realized that the term "Energetic Blockage" could be
used to describe the experience, but it wasn't really accurate to that
experience.
The actual
experience was an awareness of physical tension in my body that was
linked to an emotional issue I've been working on for the last couple
of months. As I did my breathing exercise I consciously focused on the
physical tension, and specifically on allowing myself to feel it and
work through the resultant emotions and thoughts that came up as I felt
it1. Eventually I was able to work through the tension to a point where
it was no longer physically bothering me. The emotional tension had
also died down. I'm by no means finished working through this issue,
but for the moment the sensation was no longer prevalent. The breathing
exercise I used is a Taoist exercise for dissolving physical and
psychological tension in a person's body. Both breath and chi are
utilized in the dissolving process, but that doesn't mean energy is
involved. In fact, what I felt was involved was a conscious effort to
be present with the emotions and thoughts I felt, and a sense of
movement in the tension itself. I feel that same movement anytime I'm
doing breathing meditations and as such would characterize it as my
experience of Chi. I'm not sure that awareness of movement would
automatically mean that Chi equals energy however.
My point in
bringing this up isn't to be overly semantic, though it may seem like I
am being just that. Rather, it's to question carefully the words we use
to describe the experiences we have. While energy is a convenient term
to use, it's also become an umbrella term to describe a wide variety of
sensations and experiences. And whether we are using energy in the
quantum physics sense of the word or using energy as a biological field
of electro-magnetism, or as the mysterious force of chi, when it
becomes an umbrella term for all of those experiences and more, then it
might be worth considering being more particular about how we use the
word and also comparing that usage against the actual experiences we
have.
The word
energy is used in so many different settings that it's not surprising
that some occultists are skeptical of the word. My own skepticism comes
moreso from the conscious experience I mentioned above, which has
prompted me to consider how the energy paradigm may be used as another
way of fully being present with the body. If we can take sensations we
feel and make them abstract by referring to them as energetic
phenomenon, then we can also avoid being present in the body, and also
being present with the emotions linked to those sensations, at least
initially. And that may actually be beneficial, given that Western
cultures, in particular, are body phobic. Having a word such as energy
represent the sensations we feel might then make those sensations
easier to deal with on a psychological level.
At the same
time, when I feel a flush of heat stir in my hands because I'm doing a
Taoist exercise that uses Chi, I recognize that a physiological
reaction is occurring. The sensations of heat and movement that I'm
aware of tell me I'm working with some kind of force or awareness that
effects me on the physical as well as metaphysical level. When I do
rituals, these same sensations can be felt and indicate that the ritual
is occurring. And what I realize is this: Accepting that I feel these
sensations in my body allows me to fully integrate my body into magical
work. Instead of needing to use an abstract concept to explain what the
sensations are, I can simply choose to be present with my awareness of
those sensations and accept them as physiological expressions my body
is sharing to indicate that all of me is present and focused on this
ritual working I'm doing.
I do
think the word energy has value in metaphysical discussions. I just
question how we use the word, and if the use causes people to neglect
or ignore an experience they could otherwise have. Taking a moment to
just be in an experience without labeling it with a word or explaining
it way or analyzing it can be the key to fully allowing a person to
come face to face with the moment s/he is in. and welcome what s/he
experiences for what it is.
Bibliography Bonewits, Isaac
& Phaedra. (2007). Real energy: Systems, spirits. and substances to
heal, change and grow. Franklin Lakes: New Page Books.
